Do you know those sleazy genies? Ok, remember that line. I doubt I’ll ever start a post off as odd as that, but I promise it makes sense. Don’t run quite yet. Give me time. The genies where you rub the lamp, have a few wishes, and you make one. But since you weren’t specific enough, you end up getting kind of what you wanted, but not exactly. 

Say, I wanted one million dollars, and I wish for it. Genie guy gives me the money, but since I didn’t say I wanted real, spendable money, he gives me fake play money. Useless! Say I want to breathe underwater. It happens, but he now took away my ability to breathe out of water since I didn’t say both, and now I’m as good as a fish. You get what I mean? Osamake is basically that.

It looks like the answer to all my dreams but then pulls the rug right from under me, laughs in my face, and begins to ridicule me for ever thinking it would be anything more. I hate this show. But do you know what’s worse than that? I actually still like it.

Some of you may know this, but I’ve gone on the record saying that one trope I really don’t like is how the childhood friend never wins in romance. How much do I dislike this trope? Back when I entered a VN game jam in February, I made a VN where the childhood friend couldn’t lose because she was the only damn choice!

Why do I feel so strongly about this? Because it’s sad to me. I find it upsetting that these two people who have been together practically forever are torn about just because some new interest decides to step up to the plate. The childhood friend is always the nicest, sweetest person, and I hate to see them upset.

Why they always lose is another story entirely. You could say it’s something about the protagonist learning and growing as a person, so they value their new experiences and need to move on. Out with the old, in with the new. But that’s a load of bull, really.

It comes down to the childhood friend either keeping their feelings hidden for too long, or them putting their friend’s feeling above their own. Basically, they’re either too much of a wimp or too nice, and you blend that with a main character as dense as a brick wall, and you get a recipe for heartbreak. I just want to see the childhood friend win so bad!

So you can imagine my excitement when I heard of Osamake. It’s literally subtitled with “A Romantic Comedy Where the Childhood Friend Absolutely Will Not Lose!” It was made for me. It’s like the title is yelling at me that this is finally the time to put that trope to rest. To finally fight back for once! I fit this anime into my busy seasonal schedule over another series I was going to watch. I’ve made sacrifices for this!

And guess what? It’s not lying. The title is correct. We get to see our protagonist, Sueharu, who has a crush on Shiro, a quiet, somewhat harsh writer in his class. We also see that he has a childhood friend that clearly likes him. Like most, Kuroha is sweet, takes care of him, and is all around a pretty spectacular person.

The difference is, she actually confessed to Sueharu before the series began, and he rejected her. He wanted to follow his heart. That’s cool. What I enjoyed is that Kuroha isn’t too nice. She cares about him, but she isn’t afraid to go after what she wants.

Despite being rejected, she absolutely will not lose and continues to tease gets aggressive. Whatever it takes to get Sueharu’s affection. Finally! A childhood friend that realizes that being too nice can mean you’ll never be happy yourself. One that understands to think about her own feelings in the matter. It’s such a breath of fresh air! I adore her!

I just think it’s stupid that they would title the show what they did. I mean, where’s the excitement in watching the series when I already know who’s going to win. Obviously, it’s Kuroha. The love triangle seems pointless if I know that the childhood friend, Kuroha, will win because of the title. How dumb, Japan. Huh? What was that?

Wait, you mean Shiro’s also Sueharu’s childhood friend. That’s kind of stupid, right? What about the other girls in the show? No. Every one of them is his childhood friend? Hold on now, Japan! You know that’s not what I meant! You can’t just add more and think that makes it ok! That’s not what I wanted!

You see, it’s my fault. I asked for this. I asked the genie to give me a series where the childhood friend wins. But I didn’t say which one. That’s my fault, I admit it. I should have specified that I wanted the childhood friend to win. In this case, obviously Kuroha.

A childhood friend in anime isn’t simply someone that knows the protagonist. It’s an archetype. It’s a state of being. The childhood friend is the sweetest person ever that always cares for and loves the protagonist with all their heart. The person who with be a shoulder to lean on. The person who will always be there for them even when nobody else will. That’s who needs to win! Not the other childhood friend that saw Sueharu once or twice! That does not count, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Kuroha is the clear victor! She should be, and honestly, I think she would be, but I doubt it will happen by the end of the anime. I respect the title of the series so much for being way more clever than anything I could ever come up with. It’s fantastic. I love how much it got me, and I hate it equally as much for the same reasons. It’s not wrong. The childhood friend has no way of losing because all of them are childhood friends.

It was not what I was expecting, and I’m a little sad about it, but what can you do? I just want to see a nice sweet story about the two childhood friends just hanging out, developing feelings, and having a good time. This wasn’t that, but I’ll forgive it.

As for how the anime actually is so far, good lord, it’s a dumpster fire. You better get out because everything’s going up in flames. That’s not to say it’s bad. It isn’t. I think Osamake is pretty good at the story it wants to tell. It’s just not at all what I expected.

Every single character basically sucks. They’re all pretty bad people, and the series is just them fumbling over each other, trying to admit their own feelings, and fighting for Sueharu’s affection that they act like they don’t want in the first place. It’s all over the place, but that’s kind of the point.

As the Rom-Com guy and childhood friend defender (the childhood defriender, if you will), I could not let the crime that is this anime go unnoticed. It has committed a grave sin and should be reprimanded appropriately.

I will continue to watch it, certainly not because I find it entertaining and wants to see what burns up next, but so I can observe it and see what other grievous acts it dares to bring about. I promise that’s why. I would never lie. Definitely not.

Thank you very much for reading

What do you think of the childhood friend trope? If you disagree…well, that’s fine. Opinions are a thing, I guess.